days of heaven (1978)

fall of 2024 i watched this re-screening in 35mm at braindead studios fairfax. it was a relatively lowkey weekday showing and the sweet curly-haired girl in a crimson i-put-the-laughter-in-manslaughter hoodie a couple rows behind me sidled over to ask how i found the movie after the credits rolled. i said it was somewhat forgettable but i loved the atmosphere it created. she asked if i had plans later- i didn’t- so we hotfooted it to pantheon coffee a ten minute walk down the ave under the october rain and discussed the movie for about an hour until the downpour mellowed into a drizzle. that post-movie debrief over hot chocolate touched on a lot more than just the movie and i confessed how miserable my corporate job left me and she naively asked something along the line of well why are you still in it and i shot her a blasé ‘i know right’ eyeroll with a shrug because it felt pathetic to say i needed the money. but i shared with this stranger far more about what i was struggling with at the time than i ever confided in close friends, it is ironic how sometimes you can be most yourself around the people who know you least. god i think i even cried a little to her. i didn’t have socials then and we didn’t exchange numbers so i will likely never see her again but unbeknownst to her, mariana’s hour-long presence kind of helped me through a rough patch. anytime i come across days of heaven i think of mariana in her insouciant curls and crimson hoodie and that rain-soaked california evening and i want to let her know that i eventually did find it in myself to walk away from the job and boy did it turn out to be a bittersweet pyrrhic victory because i’m even more miserable now. and that maybe debriefing over hot chocolate with a stranger could really help once again. anyway i went off on a tangent here. my point is, the movie was somewhat forgettable. but god i loved the atmosphere it created.